Table of Contents

CHAPTER I
Using People Skills Adequately Can Change Your Life​
  • The Gifted Few, Who Instinctively Use Them

  • The Rest of Us

  • Yes, You Can Learn Them

  • Sounds Great, But

  • The Obvious

  • The Answer

  • The Bottom Line

CHAPTER II
Fundamental Realities
  • Reality Number One

  • "I'm the most important person in the world."

  • The Self-Centeredness of Human Beings

  • Second Fundamental Reality:

  • How Others View Themselves After Contacts With You Is Critical

 
CHAPTER III
Showing Interest
  • Phony Interest

  • No Strings Attached Interest

  • How to Become Interested

  • You "Gotta" Find Something

  • Shallow Interest

  • You Get Brushed Off

  • Stick to Things You Like

  • Reciprocation Necessary?

  • Super Technique to Make "Em" Love You

  • Couples, Partners in Living

  • Family

  • But Resist "Meism"

  • But isn’t Family Different?

 

CHAPTER IV
Make Someone’s Day
Envy
  • Jealousy

  • Low Self-Esteem

  • Bruised Egos

  • Facts Don’t Change!

  • The Unobservant

  • An Understandable Reason

  • If You Like Something, SAY SO!

  • Details Show Sincerity

  • Be Careful

CHAPTER V
Listen Well! Respond Well!
  • Listening

  • Possible Calamitous Results

  • A Not Responding Pitfall

  • “Dos” While Listening

  • Absolute “Don'ts” While Listening

  • Some More "Biggies”

  • Almost Always Respond

  • Silence is Not Always Golden

  • When Not to Respond

  • You’re the Talker

  • “Hey, Whose Idea was This?”

  • Respond. Respond. Respond.

  • No Excuses!

  • An Unacceptable Explanation

  • At Least Say You Got it!

  • Not Replying Sends a Message

  • Address Each Point

  • Put It in Front of You!

  • Respond, Even if You Disagree

  • Miscellaneous Points

  • I Wouldn’t Know.  I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know That.

  • Two More “No-Nos”

  • Super Way to Respond

  • Answer the Question

  • "I Hope So"

  • If Question is Good, Say So

  • "Of Course" and "Certainly"

  • Don't Evade Questions

  • Why Do Some Do This?

  • Delicate Opinion-Inquiries

  • Answer Right Off the Bat!

  • So, Why?

  • Finally

CHAPTER VI
Interrupting
  • The Mind Readers

  • How Come?

  • "Know-it-alls"

  • Others

  • Classifying Them, Generally

  • The Thieves

  • Waiters and Waitresses

  • Anything You Can Do?

  • Where's Nearest Table to Crawl Under?

  • Be a Good Samaritan

  • Let “Em” Tell You Again

  • Stale Jokes

  • I Might Forget It!

  • Take Notes

  • If Note Taking not Possible

  • Don't Break in with a Different Matter

  • Annoying Unimportant Corrections

  • Suddenly Looking Away

  • Two More Ways

  • Sum-Up

CHAPTER VII
Praising
  • Why is Praise so Vital?

  • A Job Well Done

  • Why Not?

  • The Unmindful

  • A "Don't" and a "Do" of Praising

  • Give Credit!

  • Don't Wait Too Long!

  • Same Point, Different Twist

  • Snubs

  • Yep, Blame Jealousy!

  • A Tale of Two Cousins

  • So, What Happened?

  • Can Anything be Done?

  • Sum-up

CHAPTER VIII
Be Glad To See People!
  • A How To

 

CHAPTER IX
What’s In A Name?
  • Our Names are Music to Our Ears

  • Repeat Encounters

  • Back to Remembering Names

  • The How To

  • On the Phone Too

 

CHAPTER X
People Skills In One Time Phone Calls
  • Calls for Information or Help

  • Again, Get and Use Names

 

CHAPTER XI
The “I” Disease
  • This Banker Has It!

  • This Chairman of Board Has It!

  • Wow!

  • Why?

  • The Cure?

 

CHAPTER XII
Build Self-Esteem
  • But You Must Really Want Help!

 

CHAPTER XIII
Talking Down
  • One Example, Saying the obvious

  • Beware of the Dog, the Dogmatist!

  • But I'm Really Positive

  • Another Way to Hedge Providently

  • You be the Dummy!

  • "You must understand" or "Keep in mind"

  • Suggest, Recommend

  • Watch “Big” Words and Jargon!

  • Abbreviations

  • Some Doctors

  • Necessary "Big" Words

  • Listener's Capacity to Understand

  • Foreign Phrases

  • "You Know"

  • The Unnecessary Apology

  • Forget, "Forget  it!"

  • A Terrorizing Dread

  • Ageism

  • Here, Let Me Have It!

  • Can Apply to Mental Things Too

  • Help Persons Understand You

  • KISS Principle

  • Sum-Up

 

CHAPTER XIV
Expressing Gratitude
  • Why We Don't

  • Consequences

  • Looking the Gift Horse in the Mouth

  • Spoken Words Sometimes Aren't Enough

  • Yet, Hand-Written Notes are so Potent

  • Sum-Up

 

CHAPTER XV
White Lies
  • Truth-Not-Necessary Test

  • Harmless Fibs

  • Age Fibs

  • When to Increase the Gap

  • Bad Breath

 

CHAPTER XVI
Be Courteous and Considerate
  • Eye contact

  • "But I'm Too Shy"

  • Shaking Hands

  • Should Women Shake Hands?

  • Talk to Everyone in Group

  • Be Direct

  • Point Sum-Up

  • Introduce Person with You

  • “I’m terrible with names”

  • You Might Not Agree with This

  • For Both Genders

  • A Relatively Strong “No-No”

  • Translate foreign languages

  • Persons with a Different-Native Tongue

  • Don't Be a Flake!

  • Return Phone Calls!

  • Keep Call-Back Promises

  • Mindlessness

  • Don’t be a Phony

  • Leave It Where or Like You Found It

  • Speak Up and Do so Distinctly

  • Contentiousness

  • But Say You Have to Disagree

  • An Outstanding Way to Show Considerateness

  • "Humiliaters"

  • Making Fun of, Mocking

  • Good Samaritan Needed

  • Blatant inconsiderateness!

  • Add This One

  • A Maddening Discourtesy

  • The Brush-Off

  • Using Foul, Repugnant Words

  • Walk in Moccasins of Others

 
CHAPTER XVII
You’re Picking On Me!
  • When You’re Wrong, You’re Wrong!

  • Another Way of Being Defensive

  • More Ways to Ward Off Negativity


CHAPTER XVIII
Soften Negatives, Bad Things
  • Firing Someone

  • Breaking Up with Someone

  • Accepting Some Blame

  • Accept All Blame

  • You’re Totally Without Fault, BUT

  • Cushion It!

  • Necessary Criticism

  • Gratuitous Criticism

  • Unwarranted Criticism

  • The Touchy Question

  • Exposing Liars

  • Testy Persons

  • The Phony Softener: "Don't worry about it."

  • Here We Go Again, Tell a White Lie?

  • Make Required Things Easier to Swallow

 

CHAPTER XIX
The Blame Game
  • Killing the Messenger

  • Clobbering the Handy

  • Another Example

  • "Put the Blame on Mame"

  • Venting Anger to the Wrong People

  • The Constant Complainers

  • Finally, As to Blame Game

 

CHAPTER XX
Telling Persons,“You Were Right”
  • So, Why Are Those Words So Hard to Say?

  • But Say It´s You Who Deserves to Hear Those Words

 

CHAPTER XXI
Telling Persons,“You ARE Right”
  • But Sometimes We Tell People They´re Wrong Though They´re Really Right

  • A Darn Good Example

 

CHAPTER XXII
We
 
CHAPTER XXIII
Be Supportive

 

CHAPTER XXIV
Tweets Of Wisdom
 
CHAPTER XXV
A MakeFeelGood Just for You
  • Review, Review, Review!

  • A Downside

 

CHAPTER XXVI

The Bottom Line

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

 

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© 2017-19 Frank F. Loomis III, J.D.