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  • Writer's pictureThe Sage

Especially, for Ladies

Updated: Jan 21, 2020

When you marry, The Sage says, keep your birth name as your legal name.

That is, don’t change your last name to your husband’s.

For example, let’s say you were born Marilyn Roberts. And your prospective husband’s name is Charles Jones.

You marry. But you don’t change your last name to Jones, which would onerously involve changing your Social Security name, driver’s license, insurance policies, credit cards, a will, and so on. It could be a bunch of things like that. Yes, you don’t make such changes. So, your legal name remains your birth name, Marilyn Roberts.

That said, you still could use an alias using your husband last name. Your alias would be Marilyn Jones. You would use it for all matters not legal. But again, for things like your co-ownership of a home, a mortgage on it, loans, titles to cars, banking records, or say for your will, things clearly legal, you’re always Marilyn Roberts.

But as said, for all other things, which are non-legal, you are Marilyn Jones. And this, while any child you and Charles might have is young, is usually a good thing. For the child’s sake, you socially carry the same last name, which, of course, for you is an alias. But that’s no big deal.

And BTW, there’s nothing illegal about using an alias, unless it’s used for corrupt purposes. Writer’s use aliases regularly. Famous example: “Mark Twain” was Samuel Clemens’ alias.

All the above said, yet, you still wonder why does The Sage recommend this seemingly unorthodox practice that generally is not followed in our part of the world?

Well, I do, for a number of reasons, which I genuinely believe are compelling:

1. First, just because a practice has gone on for hundreds of years, doesn’t necessarily make it right or just. And this one, IMO, is blatantly unfair to women. Upon marriage, a woman has to give up her birth-given identity and assume burdens that the husband does not share. Such as those I mentioned above like having to implement all those name changes I mentioned. And In doing so, there is always risk of mistakes.

And over the years, if any of her old pals from school or childhood ever want to contact her, “lots of luck” if she has taken her husband’s last name.

And hypothetically, years later if Marilyn’s rich Aunt Maria leaves her a bundle, she might never get it. Because of the name change, Maria’s estate might not find Marilyn.

So, such are the consequences, disadvantages a husband never incurs. Charles Jones, born as such, will never lose that identity.

Thus, this name-practice is egregiously prejudiced against women and biased for men.

2. Then there’s this harsh reality in today’s world. Around fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. And at this point in their lives, many women choose to legally reassume their birth names as their legal names. Once again they have to go through red tape hassle to reverse the name changes they made years ago when they married. Ugh. What a pain!

But ex-hubby doesn’t have to do a damn thing.

Again, I say that’s jaw dropping unfair.

So, nice Ladies, the message is crystal clear: When you marry, don’t change the name you were born as, to your husband’s. Rather, keep it as your legal name. But if you’re going to have children, then for their sake while they’re young, use your husband’s last name as an alias for all non-legal matters.

Finally, if you’re not yet a Sage follower click “Follow” at the very bottom of this page. Do so, because Sage is now working on many more valuable Gems of Wisdom. And by being a follower, you can assure you won’t miss one. Plus, they’re FREE.

Bye now.



Let The Sage tell you in his own voice a short free sample chapter from his new audiobook, People Skills Magic. It’s just five minutes long.

To hear it, first click:

This will take you to a page where you’ll see the audiobook’s cover. At the bottom of that cover, click the tiny circled arrow that says “Sample.” The Sage will then start talking to you.

And let’s say you like what The Sage tells you, so you download his audiobook. Then, you can listen to him during your drives to and from work, long road trips, and flights. And if you properly and religiously implement his tips, you’ll be flabbergasted. Yes, you will, as to how much this old codger can help you in this rat race world. The results will make your jaw drop.

Copyright 2017-20

Notice: The writings in this publication are strictly personal opinions, Furthermore, they should not be taken or relied upon as legal advice. For such counsel, consult an attorney licensed in your jurisdiction.

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