Is it ok, to tell your child, words to the effect, “Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry. Have a nice life?”
Because at that age, most kids are just not ready to be kicked out of the nest and meet the world. They need lots of common sense guidance and financial help.
And parents, who are able to provide such help, and don’t, well, they better remove all mirrors from their views. Shame. Shame. Shame.
But for them, this child wouldn’t be in the world. So, they have moral responsibilities to her or him. And they need to fulfill them.
And one crucial matter about which the human being they created likely needs counsel, is whether to get a college education. Some kids definitely should and others should not.
If the latter is the case, there are plenty of careers where a college degree is not required. And one can be quite successful and happy in those fields. And some persons in them make more money than many with four year college degrees.
Then, there are those kids in between, where the situation is murky. They don’t know what to do. They’re bewildered, scared.
For them, Mom and Dad’s guidance is especially needed. Yes, many, if not most 18, 19, and 20 year olds, just don’t have enough experience in life to make sound decisions as to such things.
So, they could easily go down wrong roads, which could result in life-long adverse consequences.
But if a four-year-college degree is clearly the way to go, there’s the “little” (joke) matter of the tuition. These days with some schools, it’s as high as $70,000 a year.
Oh, sure, student loans are available. But what a way to start a career, say some $100,000-300,000, plus interest, in the hole. How burdensome! How depressing! How discouraging!
So, if Mom and Dad do have the means to pay tuition as it comes due, what a fabulous gift this will be for their child.
And why shouldn’t they if they are able to do it? Years down the pike, when they pass on, they’ll likely leave maybe even more to the child. So, why not make this gift now when it’s most needed and will serve a really good purpose?
Yes, any way possible, they should give their child a head start, PAY THAT TUITION. Take it off her or his back.
Now, here’s another possible dilemma to ponder: Let’s say 18 years ago, the little bundle of joy you held in your arms in a pink blanket, was baby Susan.
And wow, how time flies. Here she is today, consulting you about an early crucial fork in her lifetime road.
She’s head over heels in love with Joe. “He’s my guy. I wanna spend my life with him.”
Now, Susan is a top student. She’s her high school class’ valedictorian. She has all the tools to be a doctor, lawyer, dentist, scientist, CPA, business administrator, you name it.
Nonetheless, she and Joe are thinking about getting married right away and started on a family. And to do that, she’d hold off on her career. Their thought is, for the new family’s financial sake, first, Joe should get his degree and career in gear. Then, she’d embark on hers.
Yes, that’s what they’re weighing. But the plan is still tentative.
It’s not set in stone, because Susan is not all that sure that’s it’s right for her. So, she seeks Mom and Dad’s counsel.
So, what do you tell her? Should you fill her in on all the horror stories of wives who hold off pursuing careers so hubbies can successfully complete theirs? Only to have hubbies, down the pike, abandon them and the kids and marry their secretaries?
“Ugh,” you’re likely saying to yourselves.
But relax. Sage only poses this extreme example to show the kinds of mind boggling problems your children can confront in beginning their adult lives. And how badly they can need their parents’ joint wisdom to keep them from going down wrong roads.
Bottom line: Even though your kids are now legally adults, they can still need all the support you possibly can give them.
So, keep reminding yourselves that they’re in this world because of you.
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Let The Sage tell you in his own voice a short free sample chapter from his new audiobook, “People Skills Magic.” It’s just five minutes long.
To hear it, first click: People Skills Magic Audiobook
This will take you to a page where you’ll see the audiobook’s cover. At the bottom of that cover, click the tiny circled arrow that says “Sample.” The Sage will then start talking to you. And let’s say you like what The Sage tells you, so you download his audiobook. Then, you can listen to him during your drives to and from work, long road trips, and flights. And if you properly and religiously implement his tips, you’ll be flabbergasted. Yes, you will, as to how much this old codger can help you in this rat race world. The results will make your jaw drop.
Notice: The writings in this publication are strictly personal opinions. Furthermore, they should not be taken or relied upon as legal advice. For such counsel, consult an attorney licensed in your jurisdiction.